This is the final chapter in our blog on how to use the 7 keys to effective leadership with each of the T.E.A.M. styles. Our first article presented the seven keys and each of the others have discussed how to adapt them to each of the four styles. See our leadership blog to see all 5. The M or Mediator style in our T.E.A.M. model is a people person. They like working with others and they like harmony in the workplace. These are the people who make sure cards are sent to people who are sick and people are recognized in other ways.
When you supervise someone with a high M score you have to actively demonstrate that you care about them as people. M’s watch how you interact with them and if they don’t feel you care about their well-being, they are likely to perform at a lower level. One key tip is to take time each day to “check in” with them about non-work related topics – their family, their interests, etc. These don’t have to be long conversations or deeply personal, but more than a quick hello in the morning is important and greatly appreciated. M’s are interested in knowing the people they work with as people and want to share their lives with their co-workers.
Some people see M’s as “chatty” and wasting time. I see M’s as people trying to build strong relationships on the team and giving the team extra energy to work hard together. M’s are great listeners and they hear your feelings as well as your thoughts. As a result they are hesitant to criticize or confront people because they feel the other person’s pain. You need to be patient when trying to get feedback from an M.
As skilled listeners who care about people, M’s are in a great position to help pull a team together. They often don’t want to be in the lead, but they can offer great insights and suggestions. As I’ve said many times (and say again below!) listening is a powerful way to connect with people and M’s are masters at it.
To connect this to the 7 keys, in our original blog we focused on 7 key feelings that lead to positive motivation and performance: feeling: respected, appreciated, belonging, treated fairly, safe, powerful and less stressed. In working with M’s, the two key strategies are listening and being carefully polite. M’s are not very assertive and so need to be invited to share their opinions. When you listen fully to what they have to say and how they feel, M’s feel respected, appreciated, part of the team, treated fairly, safe, more powerful and less stressed. Once again, listening hits all 7 feelings!
Some people hear “being carefully polite” and think they need to walk on eggshells around M’s. That’s not it. It means being alert and intentional with your communication. M’s appreciate the social niceties. It’s important to them to be treated politely and appreciatively. That’s how they define respect. People who are highly task oriented often skip this step since they don’t think it contributes much to task completion. For the M’s, the relationship comes first and if it’s strong, then they crank out the work. If they don’t trust the people they work with or don’t feel appreciated, they back off and don’t work as hard.
Finally, if M’s have an opinion to share, they won’t force it on you. They need to know you’re really ready to listen. If you roll your eyes or cut them off… they’re not likely to share their opinions on the future… and not likely to be strong team players. M’s are cautious and they try to minimize conflict. But they have strong opinions and good ideas if you take the time to draw them out.
For more information about the T.E.A.M. model, visit our webpage. If you’re an M or have experience working with M’s – let me know what you think of these strategies.