Understanding emotional intelligence can help us communicate more effectively in the workplace (and in life!). The term emerged from research by Daniel Goleman, who first coined the term “Emotional Intelligence”. He referred to this as EQ as opposed to IQ.
One of the first components of EQ is awareness of our own responses to events and people, and trying to understand how others might be interpreting our words and behavior. Interacting with others in the workplace and elsewhere involves a constant interplay between two elements:
- what we CAN see and be aware of – our OWN situations and intentions and how the actions of others impact us; and
- what we CAN’T see –the other person’s situation and the impact of what we say and do on others – how they interpret our intentions and actions.
Here are some self-awareness tips adapted from an article in Peoria Magazine by Mike Crompton. When we are aware of our own thoughts and emotions, it is much easier to consider how others may be perceiving us.
People who are emotionally self-aware can sense their feelings, identify their source and can recognize related sensations to those feelings – physical symptoms, such as rapid heart beat or feeling sweaty. Some strategies to boost self-awareness include:
1. “Checking in” with yourself.
It’s important to take time every day to assess how you’re feeling. Some questions you might use include: What sensations am I feeling? What emotion is that tied to? What is triggering that emotion?
2. Labeling your emotions.
Once you become aware of what you are feeling, it can be helpful to label them as well as the source or “trigger” of negative feelings. Labels can be as simple as one word: anger, fear, joy and frustration. As you become aware of a feeling, write down a label for it, along with your thoughts on what you think triggered an emotion. Once you can identify the source of a feeling and see it on paper, you can see more clearly what you need to do to change your response to the trigger. Also, labeling a feeling gives you more control over it as it moves your awareness from your emotions to your thinking brain.
3. Be mindful, which means – be in the moment.
Take time to stop now and then to “listen” to your emotions and sensations. Notice what they might be telling you. Emotions can often alert us to issues that our thinking brain may not focus on. You can use this information to get additional insight and suggestions for working through an issue or problem.
Those are some quick tips to increase your self-awareness, which is the first element of Emotional Intelligence. In later issues, we’ll review the other elements and strategies for improving them.