Last month we shared our thoughts about the 7 key feelings a leader needs to engender to build a positive workplace and work team. As most of you know, there’s not one single best way to do this. It depends on the work and communication preferences of the people you work with. So while the 7 feelings are pretty standard, how people experience them can vary greatly. Here again, our T.E.AM. model can help guide you in how you engage with your team. Whether you are a leader or team member, what follows is helpful for anyone seeking to build stronger and more positive work relationships.
To recap, the 7 key feelings are feeling:
- Respected
- Appreciated
- Part of the team (belonging)
- Treated fairly
- Safe
- Powerful
- Less stressed
In this issue we’re going to look at the “T” style in our T.E.A.M. model. In subsequent issues we’ll cover the other 3 styles.
The “T” stands for “Tell”. “T’s” tell you what they think in short direct statements. They look for the same kind of response from you. Don’t beat around the bush or provide a lot of background or sugar coat it. Just tell them.
T’s are fairly self-sufficient and leaving them mostly alone is actually the best way to get them on track with all 7 feelings. This sounds odd, but read on.
The first two feelings are feeling respected and appreciated. This can be confusing with “T’s”. I’ve heard from some T’s in my workshops that they resent positive feedback! They find it condescending. They believe that if you’re giving them positive feedback you must assume that they are weak and need the feedback! They also dislike personal conversations so don’t try to show respect by taking an interest in them as people.
So what can you do to build these two feelings in a T? T’s like autonomy. Tell them what they need to know in as few words as possible and get out of their way and let them work! An occasional short “thanks” or “great job” is OK, just don’t over do it. How much is too much? Read their reaction. If they look pleased when you say it, keep going. If they look annoyed or don’t react at all… then scale it back.
Many T’s do appreciate positive feedback so don’t avoid it, just monitor the frequency and degree. Follow their lead on non-work related conversations. If they engage in social conversations, do so as well. If they don’t, don’t try to “draw them in”, focus your conversations on work tasks and keep them short and focused. They will feel you’re respecting them and their time, and not being intrusive or distracting.
You can also ask them for ideas or suggestions to show you respect and appreciate their expertise. Don’t do it too often and don’t get in long conversations about it. Get their input, go off and think about it if you need to (without them!), and then let them know what you’re going to do. They are OK if their ideas aren’t accepted as long as they get a brief acknowledgement and a brief explanation.
The next three feelings are less critical to a T, but still worth focusing on.
Being part of a team: T’s view a team as other people who are getting work done. They often don’t want to get to know them as people or spend a lot of time in meetings or discussions. So how do you build a sense of belonging? When they’re in a jam, get other people to help them out. When they’re caught up, ask them to pitch in on mission critical work. Share challenges with them and encourage them to help solve them. If they feel their co-workers and boss are getting work done, this will be a team they want to belong to. That’s it.
T’s are independent and comfortable advocating for themselves, so “fairness” is also less of a concern to them. They keep their head down and do their work. Their biggest complaint is that not everyone fully carries their own work load. They don’t expect everyone to work as hard as they do, but they have no patience for people they perceive as goof offs. They also have little tolerance for people who talk a lot and don’t get much work done. The key to keeping T’s happy in the fairness category is running a tight ship. Make sure everyone understands the performance expectations, and hold everyone accountable for meeting them. It’s OK for some people to have “fun” at work, or socialize, as long as the work gets done and expectations get met.
Feelings of safety are also less of a concern to T’s. They are risk takers and feel they can take care of themselves and don’t want to be coddled. The biggest fear T’s have is that others won’t do the work, and the T will be left carrying the load for everyone else. T’s need to have confidence that supervisors are setting clear and measurable performance expectations and are enforcing them. Then the T’s will feel that their boss “has their back”.
Since I’ve mentioned performance expectations a few times, if you’d like to get some tips on how to set clear and measurable expectations, email me and I’ll send you some ideas.
The next key feeling is feeling empowered. Most T’s are very assertive and others perceive them as powerful. However, T’s look at the results of the interactions. If they give their opinion and it’s routinely rejected or ignored, they feel powerless, even if they continue to be outspoken. While you don’t have to accept their ideas, it’s important to listen carefully to them, not to ask a million questions, and if you don’t agree with it to give them a clear concise reason. Help guide their thinking and help them understand some of the more subtle issues so their future suggestions will be more on target.
The final feeling is to feel less stressed. T’s can handle stress better than most other styles, but even they have a limit. One thing that stresses a T is having more work to be done than they can get done in the time they have. Help them prioritize the workload. Another stressor for a T is seeing a lot of work on the schedule and seeing others goofing off. (See discussion above for fairness and safety.) T’s often keep producing, but resentment builds when they think others are not doing their fair share.
I’d appreciate some feedback on how this sits with you, especially if you’re a T. Please let me know if you have other suggestions or perspectives. alan@KriegerSolutions.com
If you’re in desperate need of information on one of the other 3 styles, email me and I’ll get it out to you soon so you won’t have to wait for future issues! Otherwise, stay tuned for future blogs on this topic.
If you haven’t already taken the T.E.A.M. self-assessment, email me and as a thank you for reading all the way through this article, we’ll send you a free link so you can take it. (Regular price $19.95).